Ghosts of Our Past
by LightningStarborne
Summary: "You know, my master thinks I've started hallucinating." "Really? Please tell him that I firmly believe in my own existence." "Of course we both believe you're real. You are, you know, the one my master thinks I'm hallucinating, and I really don't want to be insane." (based off of dakt37's ObiGhostAU with permission.)
1. Chapter 1

_The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins?_

 _Edgar Allen Poe_

Qui-Gon stood up swiftly, running forward, Obi-Wan matching him stride for stride despite their height differences. They ran, and Qui-Gon could feel the heat of the shield singe the ends of his hair. He spun, dodging a hit from the Sith.

The fight raged on, and Qui-Gon could feel the fatigue dragging at his limbs, making his moves slower, less graceful.

And then the Sith knocked his feet out from under him.

Qui-Gon swore, barely avoiding falling in the pit. He rolled to his feet, lightsaber at the ready. He lunged forward, ready to help his padawan, when Obi-Wan's lightsaber sliced the Sith in half. Qui-Gon sighed, relieved that this whole mess was over. The Sith toppled backwards into the pit, his lightsaber held almost as if he had tried to stab Obi-Wan before he died.

"Master?" Obi-Wan whispered, and Qui-Gon jerked his head to look at him.

"Obi-Wan!' Qui-Gon cried, eyes widening at the hole in his Padawan's back. He rushed forward, catching Obi-Wan as he fell.

He sank to his knees, cradling Obi-Wan's head in his lap. He could feel the tears trickling down his face.

Obi-Wan reached up, catching the tears on his fingertips. His hand fell as his strength failed, and Qui-Gon caught his hand and held it in his own. Obi-Wan smiled. "It's alright, Master," he whispered. "I'm alright."

"No, you're not. You- you're dying." Qui-Gon could feel his voice crack.

"There is no death, there is the Force, right?" Obi-Wan rasped.

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, his voice wavering.

"My failures always have been spectacular, haven't they, Master?,"

"Oh, no, Obi-Wan, you've been a good apprentice." Qui-Gon told him desperately.

"Don't worry Master. At least I don't have to worry about my Trials, or cleaning my room anymore. Anakin will like to have some space. He'll like my old models, I think. H-he d-deserves t-to have the chance that he a-almost didn't get. We have something in common, then." Obi-Wan's breath grew fainter, and Qui-Gon wished that he could heal him, that he had paid some attention to the healers.

He felt Obi-Wan's life slip away into the Force, and he finally sobbed, pulling Obi-Wan close.

* * *

Anakin watched, terrified, as Master Qui-Gon methodically went through Obi-Wan's room, stripping it until the room was almost bare. There was a desk, and a bed. The bed had fresh sheets on it, and the desk had been cleared.

Master Qui-Gon Walked past Anakin, and Anakin wanted to ask him why he had been so angry about clearing his Padawan's room out, but he was clearly still mad. Anakin had learned to hold his tongue years ago, and this was clearly not a time to speak out.

* * *

The Clones Wars

Three months after Christophsis

* * *

Ahoska sat on a her bunk, and leaned back, huffing. She didn't like it when she and her master had to work with her Grandmaster, but it was a necessity. She constantly wondered what had made Master Jinn so cold, but the one time she had asked, Anakin had given her a harsh glare that put an end to any questions she had on the subject.

"What are you thinking about?"

Ahsoka sat up, and studied the ghost her master claimed was an 'imaginary friend.' "You know, my master thinks I've started hallucinating."

"Really?" The ghost sounded interested. "Please tell him that I firmly believe in my own existence," he said dryly.

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "Of course we both believe you're real. You are, you know, the one my master thinks I'm hallucinating, and I really don't want to be insane."

"You're master thinks you're hallucinating?" The ghost asked curiously.

"Yeah," Ahsoka said patiently. She had gotten used to the memory gaps that the ghost was prone to.

"You told him about me?" The ghost asked.

Ahsoka looked up, startled. "Of course I did. I wanted to know if it was common for Jedi to see ghosts."

"I see your point," the ghost said, amusement lining his voice.

Ahsoka smiled at him. When she had started seeing the ghost a month ago, she thought she had lost it. Now, thanks to the ghost's odd sense of humour, they were friends. Sometimes Ahsoka thought that she actually had gone insane, but she could feel the ghost in the Force, and all her life she had been taught to trust in the Force.

The ghost smiled at her. "Check this out," he said, and started floating.

Ahsoka grinned at him. "That's amazing! Been practicing, have you?"

Then he disappeared, and Ahsoka sighed.

"Been practicing what, padawan?" Anakin asked from the doorway. "Talking to your imaginary friend?"

Ahsoka sighed. "He's not imaginary, he's a ghost."

"Oh?" Anakin said, eyebrow raised. "I'm stronger in the Force than you are. Why can't I see him?"

"I told you. He can't manifest when you're in the room," Ahsoka said in exasperation.

"Oh, how convenient!" Anakin snapped. "I'm worried about you, Ahsoka."

Ahsoka's head snapped up. "Me? Why?"

Anakin sighed. "Ahsoka, you claim that you see a ghost. Apparently it can't manifest around either Qui-Gon or I. Do you think that's normal?"

"So you think I'm crazy?" Ahsoka asked.

Anakin shook his head. "No! I think that you are a twelve year old girl that is fighting in a war. I think that you may be lonely, and your mind provided you with a friend."

Ahsoka stared at him, unable to believe what she was hearing. She blinked, and turned around, so that her back was to her master.

"I've arranged for you to speak to a Mind Healer once we're back on Coruscant," Anakin said. When she didn't respond he sighed. "Ahsoka, even Master Qui-Gon is worried about you. This is one thing we have agreed on. He never liked me, but he seems to like you, and we're worried."

When Ahsoka continued to ignore him, he sighed and left the room.

* * *

She lay there for about an hour before there was another knock at the door.

"Go away."

"Not happening, little 'un."

Ahsoka sat up, overjoyed. "Rex! Come in."

Rex walked in, and smiled at her. "What's wrong?"

Ahsoka shook her head, frustrated. "My Master thinks I'm crazy."

Rex's eyes widened at her frank response. "I don't believe that."

Ahsoka smiled humourlessly. "Neither do I. And yet, the conversation I just had with him begs to differ." Ahsoka wrapped her arms around her knees, and rested her chin on them. "He didn't outright say it- he actually claimed otherwise- but I could tell he was thinking it. He wants me to visit a Mind Healer."

Rex sat next to her on the bunk. "I don't pretend to understand the Force. But I know one thing. If this Force of yours has deemed you worthy to speak to this ghost of yours, then who am I to disagree?"

Ahsoka smiled at him. "Thanks, Rex."

"My pleasure, little 'un."

* * *

"Good morning, Padawan Tano."

Ahsoka glanced at the Healer, before returning her gaze to the Coruscant skyline. "Good morning, Healer Fyla."

Fyla smiled at her and glanced at the datapad in her hand. "Do you know why you're here?"

Ahsoka rolled her eyes. "My Master thinks that I'm hallucinating."

"And are you?"Fyla asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"No."

Fyla wrote something down. "Your master, and grandmaster, tell me that you say that you keep seeing a ghost. Can you tell me about that?"

"He's my friend. He is sarcastic, and sometimes I feel like I need a tall glass of water after talking to him, he's so dry." Ahsoka told her.

"I suppose I do have a talent for …. deadpan humour." the ghost said from behind her. Ahsoka groaned, while his shoulders and braid shook with his laughter.

"Are you alright, Padawan Tano?" Fyla asked.

Ahsoka nodded. "I'm alright. He just has a really bad sense of humor."

Fyla looked interested. "He's here?" Ahsoka nodded again. "Does he have a name? Can you describe him to me?"

"We don't know his name. He has amnesia. He has a Padawan braid, and he tends to forget what we're talking about in the middle of a conversation. We're working on it."

Fyla wrote something down. "How many friends, other than the ghost, do you have?"

Ahsoka tilted her head, considering. "Well, there's Rex, Barriss, and a few more clones."

Ahsoka was starting to get annoyed with Fyla writing things down. "Do you ever feel lonely?"

Ahsoka frowned. "Lonely? No, not really. I tend to be really busy, I spend time with Rex and the clones, and when I can, I spend time with Barriss. Other than that, I have a ghost following me around, pestering me."

Fyla jotted something else down, and stood up. "That concludes our session today. I'd like you to come back the day after tomorrow. Have a nice evening, Padawan Tano."

Ahsoka sighed with relief and left, the ghost floating along behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

_I would rather die a meaningful death than to live a meaningless life._

 _Corazon Aquino_

Ahsoka sat on the chair with her feet curled under her, her eyes focused on the skyline filled with traffic. She was practically alone in her head for once, except for her training bond with Anakin and what her ghost had called an 'anchor point.' Neither of them were talking to her at the moment, which could be nice sometime, and would be nice, if she wasn't with her therapist.

Fyla wasn't a bad therapist; she cared about her patients, and if anything had actually been wrong with Ahsoka, Fyla would have helped a lot. The problem was that there was nothing wrong.

So Ahsoka was stuck here for an hour every day she was in the temple, despite not needing to be.

This was her fifth time talking to the therapist, in as many months. Sometimes the fact that her master was in high demand really helped; she generally didn't have the time to actually see her therapist. Ahsoka didn't appreciate the reminder that her master thought that she was crazy, and having a therapist just put salt in the wound.

"Padawan Tano?"

"Hmm?" Ahsoka replied to the therapists call for attention.

"Do you enjoy the missions you go on with your master?" Fyla asked.

Ahsoka turned away from the window, frowning at Fyla. The position this left her in was awkward, since her feet were still tucked under her, but she was flexible enough that it didn't really matter. What kind of question was that?

"It doesn't really matter, does it?" Ahsoka told her. "I have to go on them, and there will always be missions I don't enjoy, but," Ahsoka took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. "I enjoy the ones where I get to spend time with my friends."

Fyla wrote something down after that statement, and considered her for a moment. "Even the ones where your lives are in danger?"

Ahsoka paused. She hated it when her friends were in danger, but most of her friends were like her; fighters, Jedi, soldiers. They would be in danger anyway; if she was there she could try and protect them.

She took a deep breath. "Especially those ones."

* * *

Ahsoka landed face-first on her bed with a groan. Talking to Fyla was supposed to help, but right now all she could think was of how useless that had been. Fyla believed that Ahsoka had to be lonely, or stressed out, and that was what had caused her ghost to manifest. Fyla was nice, but wrong. It was not stress that caused her ghost to manifest; she didn't know what had caused him to manifest, but it was better than just saying she was crazy.

Her comm beeped, and Ahsoka groaned again. It was probably more work, and she did not want to deal with anything but sleep right now. The comm chirped again, Ahsoka sat up, and answered it.

"Ahsoka," her master's voice said.

"Yes, Master?"

"We have another mission." Anakin said. "We are responding to a distress call in Wild Space." Her master paused for a moment. "Master Qui-Gon will be there, so prepare yourself emotionally."

That last part was said bitterly, and she resisted the urge to sigh. "Yes, Master. When is the mission?"

"Tomorrow morning." And the conversation was over, just like that.

"They are so, so annoying sometimes," Ahsoka told the ceiling.

* * *

Skywalker sat in Palpatine's office, glaring at the desk. "It's not _fair_ ," he growled. "It's a rescue mission, and they can't trust me to do it without my master's supervision?"

Sidious listened to the young man rant, continuing on about how little they trusted him. He smiled benevolently, occasionally giving words of sympathy. Internally, he sighed. The young Jedi was lucky he was powerful, else Sidious would have killed him before now, if only to stop the complaining.

Skywalker would make an excellent Sith one day, his powerful emotions guaranteed that, but right now he was nothing more than a whiny brat.

For some reason, he found himself remembering the Padawan that had been with Master Jinn when Sidious had met Skywalker. Now that child had had powerful emotions, but with very real pain behind it. Skywalker had the pain of a slighted child, but the Padawan had been interesting.

Such a pity Maul had killed him. He would have made an excellent Sith if Sidious managed to coax him away from the Jedi's precious light.

It also helped that the young Jedi had been angry at his Master, and that anger had been _oh so_ very delectable, and the Jedi had been very beautiful, that pain and anger touching his features almost unnoticeably. It had enhanced his beauty, enough that Sidious could remember it now. Yes, it was a pity the Jedi was dead.

"Chancellor?"

Sidious focused his attention back on the conversation. "Sorry, my boy, I had merely forgotten something. Please, do continue."

* * *

Ahsoka peeled her eyes open, looking around the ship. They had all been knocked unconcious after the ship had been pulled into the monolith. She unstrapped herself, and stood up, walking over to Anakin, whose eyes had started fluttering open.

Sh checked Master Jinn, relieved to see that he too, was alive and waking up. Once they had all woken up, the walked outside with (thankfully) minimal arguing.

They stepped outside, and looked around for a moment, before a voice called their attention. They all practically spun around, all hands going to lightsabres, but it was only an unarmed woman.

Ahsoka straightened up first, while Anakin kept his hand on his weapon, and Qui-Gon looked at the woman suspiciously, but kept his hand away from his lightsabre carefully. The woman merely waited for them to relax (not that they did completely) before accepting that she wasn't going to get them to relax further.

"What are you doing here?" she demanded. "You should not be here.

Anakin looked at Ahsoka and Qui-Gon, his eyes conveying his confusion. "Uh... We followed the distress beacon, and the monolith pulled us in?"

The woman looked at them coldly, contempt in her eyes. Finally she turned at started to walked, telling them to follow her. "You need to speak with the Father."

"Wait!" Anakin called, and the woman turned around, the glare still firmly on her face. "Who are you?"

"I am Daughter," she said simply, before turning and continuing on her previous path. "Faster. It would be best of we got there before sunset."

Ahsoka shivered under the feeling of her contempt, hating that this random woman seemed to think less of them for reasons that she refused to reveal, when they had just met. Ahsoka glared at Daughter's back, and followed, but she could not shake the feeling that she was being watched.

It didn't help that her ghost had not yet manifested.


	3. Chapter 3

The life of the dead is placed in the memory of the living.

~Marcus Tullius Cicero

Qui-Gon raised his lightsaber before him, staring at the revenant in front of him. He walked around until he was standing in front of Ahsoka, unabashedly trying to protect her from the illusion in front of him.

"I feel like I should be offended," the ghost stated. "But considering your track record with Padawans, I shall instead commend your desire to protect her."

Qui-Gon felt his lip turn up in a snarl; this thing had no right to criticize him, no matter what form it took. That didn't mean that what it said didn't hurt. His second Padawan had Fallen, his third had died, and he had only taken the fourth because it had been Obi-Wan's dying wish... Qui-Gon shook his head viciously, cutting that thought off quickly.

"I am hallucinating," he said out loud, or dreaming, he thought. "You are not real."

"Hello, to you too," Obi-Wan's ghost said. "Still up to your usual standards of decorum regarding conversational bookends, I see."

The ghost paced around in front of him, his steps slow and considering. The ghost was definitely Obi-Wan, but there were several problems that Qui-Gon noticed right of the bat.

First of all, was his stomach. There was a charring around the edge of the cloak where the Sith would have stabbed him, but no wound. Second was his attitude. Obi-Wan had never been malicious. Snarky, sarcastic, and protective, yes. Malicious, no. The one standing before him was critical, angry, and very, very malevolent. He had actively attacked either Qui-Gon or Ahsoka, but he shouted whenever Qui-Gon said something he didn't like, or when he wanted to make a point.

Lastly was his eyes.

They were dark and pupiless, though there seemed to be a flame behind them. Except when he talked of protecting, of things people had done wrong that had hurt others, they flipped and turned glaringly white.

Suddenly, the ghost stopped in the middle of the rant he had been giving, and turned to face Qui-Gon, his cloak swirling with the movement. His eyes went darker as he glared at Qui-Gon.

"Listen," he stated calmly.

"I am listening-"

"No," Obi-Wan snarled. "You hear. You do not listen." The last part was roared, and he seemed to double in size, looming over Qui-Gon. "I am talking to you, saying something that you need to know, and you are ignoring me because you do not like it."

The ghost had returned to his normal size, but rage was still twisting his face. "Allow me to put this in layman's terms," he said, and his next words were enunciated with perfect clarity. "You screwed up. You nearly threw me away as a Padawan when I was 12. You weren't able to save me – which I do not actually blame you for, so wipe that guilty look off of your face – and then, you failed the one thing I asked of you – to train Anakin."

"I did not fail, he is a Jedi Knight." Qui-Gon tried to say, but the ghost cut him off.

"Yes, but at what cost? He is hurting because you were not willing to believe that I was at peace with my death," Obi-Wan snarled. "I was at peace, and when I tried to comfort you, you believed me angry. I am at peace with death, but you brought me back. I was fine, and you had to go and refuse to properly take care of a Padawan."

"I tried with my last two Padawans!" Qui-Gon finally snapped and shouted back at the ghost. "I tried, and Xanatos Fell, and you died."

"And what about your first?" Obi-Wan asked, and his voice was soft, and far too compassionate – Obi-Wan was always too compassionate for his own good. "He is still alive, and Light."

Qui-Gon merely glared at the ground, and Obi-Wan smiled, but this time it was sharp edged, showing far too many teeth. "Ah, well," Obi-Wan said. "You do always know best, Master."

Obi-Wan smiled, and walked towards him, his feet skimming the ground. He wandered around Qui-Gon, tapping his armour. "And now you fight in a war. What does that make you?"

"A Jedi. I am what the world has made me, but what are you?" Qui-Gon flung the question back in the ghost's face, but did not expect an answer.

The ghost did not shout as Qui-Gon might have expected, but instead spoke quietly, with a touch of melancholy. "I am what's left. "As he spoke he floated to Qui-Gon's left shoulder, before leaning forward and whispering in his ear. "Mind your tense with that."

"Left of what?" Qui-Gon asked, though he was sure that he already knew the answer.

"Of your Padawan," Obi-Wan said. "Parts of me moved on, but there are always parts that remain. He moved on from the fear and the pain, and the anguish, and the hatred. From that, from every time he moved on, he left me. Normally that wouldn't happen, but Obi-Wan Kenobi is special. It has something to do with what this place would be like with him. Better."

Qui-Gon felt the familiar guilt well up. The world would be better if Obi-Wan were here, but Qui-Gon had let him die. He looked down, staring at his boots. He didn't want to look at the ghost of what he had lost.

Then he felt a hand on his chin, and someone lifted his head. Qui-Gon found himself looking into the ghost's eyes. Eyes that were now a familiar blue-green.

"I don't want to hurt you, Master," Obi-Wan murmured. "I am trying to help. I know that it's difficult to believe, but it's true. Some things just need to be experienced to move past them."

"Then why does it hurt?" Qui-Gon asked. Even as a half-crazy, emotionally unstable ghost his Padawan was still helping him. It hurt to realize that, even dead, Obi-Wan was so much kinder than anyone Qui-Gon had met.

Obi-Wan stepped forward, and wrapped his arms around Qui-Gon, and for a moment Qui-Gon stood still, but then he relaxed and returned the hug. "It hurts because you miss him, and though he is standing right in front of you, I am not quite him." Obi-Wan stepped back, and Qui-Gon mourned the loss of the comforting presence of his Padawan. "I am far too volatile, too angry, too harsh. But I still love you. Because right now I am calm, but in a moment I will be shouting."

Qui-Gon stared at him, and Obi-Wan rolled his eyes. "You think that I don't realize I'm strange. I just said that I am angry, harsh, and volatile, yet you think I believe this is normal?"

"Most insane people believe that they are normal," Qui-Gon told him.

"And when have I ever been normal, Master?" Obi-wan asked him. Obi-Wan looked at Ahsoka, and smiled. "She'll be waking up from her dream soon."

"You seem to know her quite well," Qui-Gon noted. Then he frowned. "You're going to be leaving, aren't you." Despite the mood swings, and the uncharacteristic anger, Qui-Gon had enjoyed having his Padawan around again.

"I have met her before, you just don't know it," Obi-Wan said. "I'm actually staying." Then he grinned, and Qui-Gon's heart ached at the familiar impish smile. "You'll be tired of me before you leave."

* * *

Ahsoka shifted, frowning before she opened her eyes. There was a red foot in front of her. Red? Ahsoka shot up, her blanket falling to pool around her hips. She glared at the togruta in front of her. She looked familiar, but Ahsoka could not place why.

"Who are you?" Ahsoka demanded. "Where's Master Qui-Gon?"

The older togruta tilted her head and studied Ahsoka for a moment. "I am you. And since you are dreaming, Master Qui-Gon is not here. He is awake, as his vision is a bit different." The togruta smile, before spreading her arms. "Welcome to the Temple of the Song."

"The Temple of the Song?" Ahsoka asked warily. "What does that mean?"

Her older self ignored the question completely. "Does your Master treat you well?"

"I'm sorry?" Ahsoka asked, offended and confused.

"Does your Master treat you well?" she repeated calmly, lekku swaying as she turned to look at the wall behind her. "I know you see ghosts, and that he doesn't believe you, but other than that, does he treat you well?"

Ahsoka frowned. "Of course. He cares about me and had trained me to be a good Padawan. I wouldn't ask for any other Master."

"What about your ghost? Have you figured him out yet?"

"Well, no, but," Ahsoka suddenly scowled. "Why am I telling you this? It could be a trick designed to get information on my Master."

The dream started to fade around her, but Ahsoka could see the smile on her older self's face. "Excellent. Continue to protect your master so fiercely and you will be a great Knight."

Ahsoka woke up, sitting up and a real blanket pooled around her hips. Master Qui-Gon was standing above her in a protective stance. "Master Qui-Gon? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he answered curtly, before glancing to his right. "I merely thought we had an intruder. it is morning, so we should probably start looking for your Master."

"Alright," Ahsoka said. She stood up, and managed to pack all of her stuff away. They left as soon as they were ready.

Ahsoka watched Qui-Gon, and noticed that some of the things he did was reminiscent of how she acted when her ghost appeared and she didn't want anyone to know. He looked at seemingly empty space a lot, and opened his mouth to say something only to close it again, as if realizing he wasn't alone.

She was about to comment on this, when something seized her by the upper arms and drug her into the sky.

* * *

Ahsoka glared at the man on the ledge above them all; this was clearly his doing if he wasn't lying. She tugged at the large claw that held her, but couldn't get herself free. She muttered vile curses, and glared up at the thing holding her.

The man on the ledge was demanding that Anakin either choose one, or get both the creatures to release them. Anakin was conflicted, that much was obvious.

Ahsoka was screaming at him to save Qui-Gon. She was just a Padawan, what did it matter? Qui-Gon was shouting at him to save Ahsoka. She was younger, he was just and old man.

Anakin closed his eyes and lifted his arms. Ahsoka could feel the energy gathering at his fingertips, and she braced herself.

But before the energy could be released, she heard a voice; it was one voice, but it sounded like it was doubling in on itself. Like there were two people with the same voice shouting at the same time. "NO!"

And both the creatures were flung back, their claws releasing both Qui-Gon and Ahsoka, while Anakin stared. Then the voice spoke again. "I will not let you hurt them, or use Anakin as a toy for your own ends. I died for them. For Anakin to be trained by Qui-Gon, so I didn't screw it up as I doubtlessly would have. And now Ahsoka, who has taken care of me. You will not hurt any of them, not if I can help it."

Ahsoka stumbled back, crying out at the searing pain in her head. In her peripheral vision she could see Anakin and Qui-Gon do the same thing. When she lifted her head, she could see her ghost standing in front of her, asking if she was alright.

"How are you here?" she croaked. "Master Anakin and Master Qui-Gon are here..."

"I don't know. I remember being angry, and that you were going to be hurt, but after that," he shrugged. "Nothing. Do you know what happened?"

Ahsoka shook her head. "I was grabbed by a large creature and taken here, then this old guy was trying to convince Anakin to do something, and there was this weird voice, but after that, same as you. Nothing."

She managed to stumble to her feet – when had she fallen? - and get over to where Anakin and Master Qui-Gon were standing. They had the exact same conversation as before, and Ahsoka wondered why someone didn't want them to know what had happened.


End file.
